Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Star Wars Episode III: The Backstroke of The West

i saw revenge of the sith last time at a local theater with my friends back in Melaka. In my opinion, it was much better than the first two movies and a fitting end (err.. middle) to the star wars saga.

the next day i was walking past my friendly dvd salesperson and decided to check out revenge of the sith. i was assured the quality was good and for RM8, so why not give it a shot.

Aside from the counters on the top of the screen and a distorted perspective it was ok- not high quality but watchable. the captions were a hilarious surprise- a direct english translation of the chinese interpretation of what the script was saying. it varied from being somewhat close to the script to being 'far far away'....

Well, not too long ago, we saw Rambo 4 which subtitles was also mangled. It turned our mundane hang out session into a really hilarious and interesting one. It is amazing how these people make simple things into something really complicated...

Enjoy...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
amazingly enough, the beginning scroll is mistranslated even though the words are right there on the screen.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
star war (just one)

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
'the backstroke of the west' is the english translation of the chinese title.

main screen turn on
anakin: "this is where the fun begins"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "let them pass between us"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anonymous doomed fighter pilot: "they're all over me"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan, space battle strategist.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan grows impatient with r2.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor warns anakin and obi wan that count dooku is... big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan assures the chancellor that it's no problem.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
count dooku talks tough.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
that's chancellor palpatine speaking, talking about obi wan.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
general grevious gets some bad news.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general considers punishing his troops.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin taunts general grevious.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general fires off a snappy comeback

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
ummm... ????

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
we gonna rock down to... lemon avenue.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme the homemaker

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin tells padme about his dream.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
on the hoof - idiom, 'not yet butchered; alive. used especially of cattle'

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
hallelujah!

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda: "premonitions? premonitions?"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
sounds like something yoda might actually say... maybe.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin is haunted by dreamses.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
troopseses!

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin gets frustrated with the jedi council.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor tells anakin the story of darth plagueis the wise, aka the dintmeister.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
plagueis learned how to become... strong and big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
but he lost his power and died...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...then was killed by his land, so he could sleep. a tragic story indeed.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
this seemed completely random until i figured out that 'jedi council' was being translated into chinese then back to english as 'the presbyterian church'.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin: "obi wan, may the force be with you"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
tion medon: "on the tenth level, thousands of battledroids"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "hello there"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the general tells his troops to back off, he'll take care of obi wan.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...but is it big?

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the chancellor delivers anakin some bad news.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
mace windu reads the chancellor his rights.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin bargains for the life of his cuckoldry. cuckoldry?

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin gets a new name.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emporer: "rise!"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emporer tells anakin... umm... something.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin: "i agree."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
the emperor: "do what must be done, lord vader."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda: "goodbye chewbacca."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
c3po tells the amorous couple to get a room.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme: "no thank you, c3po."

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan: "who could have done this?"

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan can't face what he must do.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
yoda insists...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...and explains that the person he once knew noed longer is.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
how about a snickers?

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin tells padme about his new virtues, now being both strong and big.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
padme doesn't want strong and big- she also doesn't want to walk on a road meant for running about.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
lier!!!

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
obi wan has heard enough.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
meanwhile, the emperor reveals his true ambitions.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
anakin taunts, but...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...obi wan stands on higher ground...

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
...and proclaims his love.

star wars iii: backstroke of the west
this translation is classic. darth vader is actually shouting, "nooooooooooooo..."


***

a restaurant menu actually reads this:

Hmmm, such tempting delicacies…. I guess there’s a niche restaurant for every kind of customer…

***

Seriously, here's one video you've gotta check out. However, this video has extreme grotesque scenes and are extremely awesome. By far the most gory, violent, and funny video ever!

Enjoy this 80's Hong Kong B-Grade Action movie dubbed in English!